Betrayed Partners of Sex Addicts & Cheating Husbands
You’ve discovered your partner’s sexual addiction and it is life-shattering. The person you love most has a secret life and you had no idea. Not only that, but they’ve been lying to you this whole time. Maybe directly, maybe by omission, but lying nonetheless. He’s not the man you thought he was. And now you’re questioning everything.
You may feel anxious, sleepless, numb—or like your whole reality just imploded. Maybe you’re constantly checking his phone, replaying conversations, or wondering if you’re crazy (you’re not). Or maybe your husband has told you you’re crazy. Again, you’re not.
Whether you feel enraged, shut down, or unsure what to feel… this is trauma. And your response makes sense.
What is Betrayal Trauma?
Betrayal trauma doesn’t always look like what you’d expect. Some days you might feel paralyzed, other days you’re functioning on autopilot—pretending everything’s fine. What you’re experiencing isn’t “overreacting” or being dramatic. It’s your nervous system responding to a deep rupture of trust and safety.
Here are some common signs and symptoms of betrayal trauma:
Constant fear or second-guessing
Checking your husband’s phone or location
Peppering your husband with dozens of detailed questions
Feeling like you’re “crazy” or overreacting
Wanting your husband’s comfort or reassurance
Trouble sleeping, eating, or focusing
Shame about your own anger or sadness
Isolating from friends or family
After Discovery
And here you are—after Googling things like “porn addiction,” “cheating husband,” or “what to do when your husband is a sex addict.” This feels like the stuff of tabloids, not something you'd ever expect to see in your journal. But now it’s your life.
What happens next? Do you separate? Do you tell anyone? What will people think? What if they blame you—or worse, quietly assume it’s your fault? You're already carrying so much shame, the idea of saying it out loud feels unbearable.
One thing is for sure: you didn’t sign up for this. And you don’t have to stay stuck in it. You’re here now because something in you wants clarity, healing, and a way forward. That’s what I help women like you find—at your pace, with no pressure, no judgment, and no spiritual bypassing.
You may not know what healing looks like yet—and that’s okay. You don’t have to have it all figured out before getting support. Therapy gives you a space to breathe, ask the hard questions, and start rebuilding your sense of safety, identity, and truth—without pressure to reconcile or rush forgiveness.
Healing from Infidelity
You can be free of the confusion, fear, and shame—even if your husband never chooses recovery. His choices don’t get to define your worth or your future. This part of the journey is about you—your healing, your clarity, your wholeness.
As a licensed therapist and trained betrayal trauma provider, I help women across California recover from the impact of sex addiction, porn use, emotional affairs, and financial or physical infidelity. Whether it’s strip clubs, massage parlors, or years of secrecy, you deserve support that’s honest, trauma-informed, and rooted in hope.
As a Christian therapist, I’ll never pressure you to rush forgiveness. True forgiveness begins with facing the full weight of the truth—not denying it. I’ll walk with you as you heal, and when forgiveness comes, it will be real—and it will be yours.
Want to understand more about how couples recover together? Read about Couples Therapy.
Need help understanding your husband’s behavior? Visit Sex Addiction Recovery.
